Blossoms-
by nervous-bisexual
Summary: Has lots of swearing and deals with very heavy topics- When you make eye contact with your soulmate for the first time, a flower crown, revealing your partner's personality, weaves itself into your hair, letting you know the second you meet them. Evan however, thinks he will never find his. You can imagine his surprise when he is pushed over by Connor Murphy to find he is his match
1. Chapter 1

Evan Hansen was convinced he was never going to find his soulmate. His other half, his completion, someone who would care for him. Evan Hansen though, knew what would happen when he if someone would meet their soulmate. Everyone knew. It was common knowledge, and it wasn't uncommon to see it happen.

He remembered the first time he searched up what happened when you met your soulmate, using the family computer while his mom was at work, not worrying she would find his search history because she was either working or sleeping when she was home. Anyway, he remembered, and he was sure it was something he wouldn't forget.

The whole concept just seemed alienated to him.

"When you and your soulmate lock eyes, or make eye contact for the first time, a flower blooms- See article III" Scrolling down to article III, he read the paragraph, which only made him more confused.

"To put it simply, a flower crown is formed, and depending on who, or what your soulmate's personality is, what type of flowers are formed. For example if your generated flower crown has violets, it means that your soulmate has loyalty, devotion, faithfulness, and modesty sprinkled within their personality. Most flower crowns generate up to four of five different flowers, each indicating your soulmate's personality.

The most different types of flowers found in a flower crown was recorded at 17 different types of…" Evan quit reading, and instead, re-read the paragraph until it seemed to make sense.

Closing the Wikipedia article, Evan sorted out his thoughts. I think I get it, he thought, so when you meet eyes with them, a flower crown just sort of appears? But it also tells you about the other person…?

Evan was almost certain he would never meet his soulmate. He was never very good at talking to people, and even if he did find himself in a conversation, he never, _never_ looked the person in the eyes. His anxiety stopped him from making friends, and he was sure it would stop him from meeting his soulmate too.

You can imagine the surprise Evan got when he found his soulmate on the first day of school.

Evan wasn't expecting to meet his soulmate that warm autumn morning. At least, it would be warm if he wasn't inside talking with Jared, confined to the school's concrete walls.

"Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much or do you consider that an honor?"

"W-what? I- I didn't… I wasn't doing that.."

"Paint me the picture: you're in your bedroom, you've got Zoe Murphy's instagram up on your weird, off brand cellphone…"

"That's not what happened!" Evan seemed to snap at Jared, then toned down a little, "Obviously. I- I was climbing a tree and I- I fell."

"You fell out of a tree? What are you? A fucking acorn?" Evan's 'family friend' smirked at him, still walking through the crowded hallway. Honestly Evan was surprised Jared was still talking to him, not ditching him for one of his 'real friends'.

"Well, I don't know if you knew this but, I uh… I worked this summer at the state park... I'm sort of tree expert now..." Cutting himself off, Evan realized how stupid that sounded. He convinced himself that it sounded cool in his head but once he said it out loud… "Anyway I tried to climb this oak tree."

"And then you fell..?" Evan glanced over at Jared to find a look of amusement on his face.

"Well, that's a funny story-" Evan cut himself off, glancing up to find Jared's attention was captured by someone else. Someone with shoulder length dark hair, someone who's legs seemed impossibly long. Evan kicked himself mentally, he should of known Jared would quickly move on from someone as boring as him, someone who-

"Hey Connor, I'm loving the new hair length. Very school shooter chic." Evan hears Jared and flinches, although he's not sure why. Maybe it's just his go to reaction to anything. Evan watches as Connor stares at Jared. "I was kidding. It was a joke."

His face blank, Connor replies. "Yeah, it was funny. I'm laughing. Can't you tell? Or am I not laughing fucking hard enough for you?" Evan looked down at the boy's black converse, not wanting to step in and make things worse. Not wanting to hurt anyone.

Jared, laughing nervously, turned away from Connor. "You're such a freak."

Evan, who was still staring at the ground, suddenly found himself confronted by Connor Murphy, the panic rising in him.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?" His voice low and dangerous, cut through the sounds of the hallway, oh, so very clearly. Too clearly.

"I- I'm not laughing…" Evan whispered, panic building.

"You think I'm a freak?"

"I don't-"

"You're the fucking freak!" Evan barely had any time time to prepare himself as he suddenly finds himself shoved to the ground. But as he falls, time seems to freeze as he makes eye contact with Connor Murphy. Times seems to freeze as he feels something strange. Something- Something light on the top of his head… Eyes widening, Evan barely had time to register that he had found his soulmate before he hit the ground, before he hit the ground, smacking his cast on the cold linoleum.

He watched as Connor made a face of horror, a face of disgust. He watched as a crown of mostly white and pink flowers wove themelves into Connor's hair, and from what he could tell, about five different kinds. He watched as his soulmate stood, motionless, his eyes wide with panic before running away, and with this, Evan could only think of it as his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're the fucking freak!" Connor remembered what he said. He remembered what he did. He remembered that moment, the moment where he had met his soulmate, and Connor, being a complete and total asshole, had hurt him. Not even within the first three seconds of meeting his soulmate he had hurt him.

Staring into the kid's bright blue eyes, Connor panicked. Not sure how to fix what he had just broken, he did what he knew best. He ran. He fucking ran away from his soulmate and isn't he just the best person to get stuck with in the entire world?

Leaving a trail of of flower petals behind him, Connor bolted through the empty halls, the tardy bell ringing as he ran. He ran through the school parking lot, finally stopping when he reached his car. Wrenching open the door with a rusty creak, he sits in the driver's seat, not bothering to leave school, but to panic instead.

Thoughts start to invade Connor's mind. He knew he was gay. He knew ever since he started to question himself in seventh grade, but gay for… for… _Fuck what's his name?_ Connor thought to himself, trying to remember what that kid's name was… _Hansen! Right! His name was Hansen… Evan Hansen…_

Connor tried to recall what the kid was like, what he looked like… _Stop fucking lying to yourself you fucking piece of shit, you know what he looks like._ Connor leaned his head against the steering wheel, remembering the yellow and purple flowers in his hair, his bright blue eyes, and his cast… He had hurt someone with a broken arm. Feeling like shit, Connor was mad at himself. He had lashed out at the kid, someone who didn't even do anything when he was mad at shithead Kleinman.

He blamed it on his high. Or rather, not high.

 _It's all Larry's fault. All my piece of crap father's fault._ Connor had barely taken the first drag that morning when Larry walked in, and with the following screaming match, had taken all of his supply.

Connor needed a smoke, but having nothing to smoke, he leaned his head back against the headrest. He smelled something sweet, and for a second, was unsure what it was until he remembered.

With long lanky fingers, he ripped a flower out of his hair. Then another, and another until eventually all evidence of the flowers was removed from his head.

With a sigh, he glanced over at the halfly shredded flowers on the seat next to him. He couldn't even get along with his family. How the hell did the universe expect him to get along with someone he hardly knew anything about. Then he remembered. _God… I hardly remembered the thing with the stupid flowers…_ Connor looked at the flowers, then at his phone. The app, mandatory on each phone, to identify the flowers.

For some miraculous moment, he thought he would do it. Then he snapped back to reality. Connor wasn't looking for a relationship. Connor didn't even have a good relationship with anybody, and he thought he could have one with this Evan kid? He kicked himself for even thinking about it. Letting out a short, harsh laugh that sounded awkward and empty alone, he ran his fingers through his hair, stressed.

A thought ran through his mind, causing an eyebrow to quirk. Connor reached for his phone and put in his password, and although he knew what he was going to do, his fingers hovered uncertainly over the home screen.

That Hansen kid didn't need someone as shitty as Connor in his life. Hell, Connor didn't need someone as shitty as himself in his life, and by all means, he was surprised he hadn't ended it yet. Connor never wanted to meet his soulmate. He didn't want another person to disappoint, let alone a person who depended on him.

Nobody needed someone like Connor. He always ended up hurting the people around him, and he was angry at himself for that. He was always angry for some reason or another, whether it be at himself, or at his fucking mess of a family.

Connor glanced down, and after a long sigh, he shut off his phone. _What was I thinking… God…_

Suddenly Connor saw something out of the corner of his eye. Was that Zoe? Yeah, that was definitely Zoe, storming across the parking lot towards him. Connor, not wanting to deal with her, rolled his eyes and locked the door.

"Connor!" Zoe pounded on the car window. "Connor open the door!"

"No."

"Goddammit Connor, open the door!" She tugged on the door handle, knowing that no matter how hard she pulled on it, it wouldn't open.

"How about you leave me the fuck alone?" He shot back, not looking at her.

"I know what happened!"

Connor whipped his head up, his eyes filled with surprise, then anger.

"Are you… scared?" Zoe asked, leering through the glass, or at least that's what Connor thought it looked like. "You're too afraid to go and talk to him, that's it. Right?"

"I'm not…" He mumbled, his anger growing. _Why can't Zoe just piss off?_

"What?"

"I SAID I'M NOT!" Connor yelled, "I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?!" Zoe stared at Connor, unphased by his screaming.

"Well then why don't you go apologize! If you're not scared, go talk to him!" She argued, "But wait, you acted like an asshole and now you're too ashamed to go and make things right!"

"I am not ashamed." He snarled, glaring up at her. "It's best if I stay out of it and let him hate me, just like everyone else. Because you know what's gonna happen? Know what's gonna happen Zoe? I'm gonna fucking disappoint him. Just like the rest of the world."

Zoe's mouth opened and closed like a fish for about four seconds before she got over her surprise. Her voice hardening, she said, "How do you think he's feeling about this? Go fucking apologize, I'm done doing it for you."

* * *

 _ **A/N: To be honest, I found it really hard to write from Connor's perspective, I don't think I captured him right… and so if it seemed kind of forced I'm really sorry and it's all my fault. If you have any suggestions, please leave them and I'm sorry if I messed up Connor.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Evan hadn't moved from his uncomfortable sprawl from when Connor pushed him. Instead of getting up and moving, he was frozen, motionless. The dull throb from his broken arm was pushed to the back of his mind as he panicked on the dusty school floor.

From down the hall, he heard someone gasp. His head whipped around as he noticed Zoe Murphy, wide eyed, staring at him.

In a split second everything came back to him when she started towards him, the panic setting in, and a feeling he couldn't identify, was it disappointment?

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" Zoe looked down at him and offered him a hand, but Evan was too afraid to take it. What was she sorry about? This had nothing to do with her but- no… Is she sorry for Connor being his soulmate? That's not her fault. If it's anyone's, it's mine, thought Evan, staring at her outstretched hand, terrified.

Scared, he took her hand.

"I- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry I didn't mean for this to happen and uh…" Evan trailed off as she hauled him up, surprisingly strong for her slight build.

"You're Evan right? Evan Hansen?"

"Yeah.. I- I'm sorry I-"

"I'm Zoe Murphy."

"I-I know- I know who you are." Evan kicked himself mentally as he came off stalker-ish to his crush, well… what what was she now, now that Connor was his soulmate…

Zoe looked surprised for a second before brushing it off, not too hung up on it. Clearing her throat quietly, she continued. "So… um… I saw what happened and uh…"

Evan's eyes widened, scared she was going to reject him, hate him for being his brother's match, hating him for everything-

"It's okay Evan. I'm sorry you got stuck with my asshole brother who doesn't even apologize and runs away from his problems just…" Zoe continued to talk, but the fact she apologized made him stop. It wasn't Zoe's fault.

"Evan?" She looked at him concerned, Evan not realizing he wasn't paying attention to a word she was saying in the past two minutes, he hoped she didn't say anything important. "Are you okay? You look nauseous."

Now that Zoe mentioned it, Evan didn't feel that great. The shock of her comforting him, well… at least trying to comfort him, distracted him from the growing sense of dread and anxiety that had built in his stomach. It all seemed so surreal to him.

Zoe, being the kind person she was, held the one sided conversation with ease, as if it was second nature. Maybe this was how all her conversations with Connor went. But I shouldn't intrude, he thought, that isn't my place to judge.

"Can I... Can I just call my mom to pick me up?"

"Oh! Oh yeah, I'll just get out of your way then." Zoe tucked a strand of hair behind her ear behind her ear as she offered me a hand to get up. "I can go find Connor for you if you know… wanna talk to him?" She looked hopeful, almost wanting Evan to talk to her brother, but her face quickly fell when he pulled out his phone.

Ugh. What was I thinking? Zoe pulled Evan to his feet as she glanced over at the panicky teen. I don't know why I even thought why it would be a good idea for him to meet Connor. Granted, he was his soulmate, but everyone knows Connor as the local drug addict. Why would this Evan kid even want to see my shitbag of a brother after what he did, he freaking shoved him to the ground! God… Zoe thought, zoning out.

"Wait." Snapping out of it, she looked over at at Evan, an idea forming in her head. "Hold on. It it'll take a sec, but… don't leave yet." She looked him in the eyes, backed away for a couple steps before turning and sprinting down the path Connor had fled.

Evan stood with his phone out, nervous and fidgeting, waiting for Zoe to come back, but she never did.

 **A/N: AHAHAHAHAHAHA GUESS WHO'S BACK FUCKERS ITS YA BOI…. haha jk I'm back after seven months I would never call you guys that I'm sorry pls stay**

 **Anyway wanna know the reason I start this then freaking abandon it? Well, reason a. my mom's a psycho, we thought we were going to move out of our house, reason b. my dad snapped his achilles tendon, so we've been dealing with that still. Oh yeah. We're moving out when he gets better so oof. Reason c. Soccer, Band, the Fall One Acts, I'm a busy dude so yeah. No time to write. I just got to writing this because I missed days off cuz I'm sick. We won't have a weekly band show though so I should have more time to write lately but don't expect an regular update schedule I guess. I don't know I'm sorry about all of this I just yeah…**


	4. Chapter 4

Evan leaned his head against the lockers, his locker to be exact. What was he going to do? Connor had made quite a scene, and although there was almost nobody in the hall when it happened, the news was sure to spread around school by lunch. Again, almost nobody knew who Evan Hansen is but by lunch today, the world will probably get around that this, this nobody was Connor Murphy's soulmate. It had been almost twenty minutes, and no sign of Zoe. Classes would let out in about ten to twelve minutes, and god, he did not want to be here when all these people show up to find him with a flower crown for christ's sake. Shaking, he stood up and made his way to the janitor's closet, a place where he was a regular. Mr. Bitskay often didn't get here till two, and it was only 8:00.

Looking around nervously, he ducked into the small room, trembling, scared and nervous for what he was about to do next.

He remembered when getting his first phone at age 14, he didn't know what the app meant initially. A simple, red rose on a white backdrop, the small cube of the app seemed to stare right back up at Evan Hansen, daring him to click on it. Squeezing his eyes tight, he quickly smashed his thumb against the screen, pressing on it. With a small ding, Evan opened his eyes, and to his dismay, found that the app was password protected. His breath hitched in his throat as he tried to think of the four letter pin that his mom would of used on his phone, one that he wouldn't-

9340\. She wouldn't have changed it, I mean my mom hasn't checked my phone since… She makes every password this, our freaking house address, I mean, why would it be different, it shouldn't be different, I mean um… it's the password to our gun safe, our computer, her laptop, her email, granted her initials were in front but still, she used it for everything, she wouldn't change it for this… right?

Pressing first the nine, then the rest of the combination, a chime emitted from the dingy, beat up speakers of Evan's off brand smartphone. Elegant cursive soared across the screen, a tiny bit hard to read.

 _Welcome. How old are you?_

Evan's breath hitched as he wondered if he should put in his actual age or not, he never did on these sort of things. The most common age to meet your soulmate was when you were in your mid-early twenties, not when you're seventeen. But… it came with the phone… thought Evan, wondering if he should or not. Whatever.

 _ **17.**_

 _Wow. This all must be pretty exciting for you. Would you mind telling me your name?_

 _ **Evan Hansen.**_

 _Okay, let's begin. Assuming you have not yet taken apart your crown, a picture would be the best option to discover an insights of your soulmate's personality._

Allowing the app to access his camera, Evan took a picture of his yellow and purple flower crown, the flowers seemed to be in perfect condition. He had read somewhere that the flowers would never wilt or get damaged in any way. There was no telling how long a crown would last, the earliest one recorded was from 1804.

Of course I can't remember a simple quadratic formula, or any part of my speech but I can remember some stupid fact I read in a book, thought Evan, a tad bit disappointed in himself.

Fidgeting with the edges of his cast, Evan asked himself a question, one he knew he couldn't avoid, one he didn't think about until now. _Am I… gay?_ He asked himself, terrified of the answer he might get. _How will mom react to this… god. I can't- I can't do this. I thought- I thought my soulmate was supposed to be a girl. A regular, straight relationship that I would gladly have because I am._ His breaths grew erratic and unevenly spaced as he tried to hold back his tears, as he tried to hold back an anxiety attack.

Exhaling, he realized he hadn't even looked at his flower crown yet. I got so caught up in the stunt that Connor pulled, it completely threw me off and made me feel unwanted. But that's not new, thought Evan, a wave of depression washing over him. _Rejected by my soulmate right off the bat… do I even want to know what they're like? If they hate me that much, would I want to even try and get to know them?_ Alone with his thoughts, Evan decided to at least try and see what kind of guy this was.

The screen on his phone was still loading, the little circle was agonizingly slow.

 _Ping._

 _Six matches found. Your results are the following:_

 _Tansy, Hostile Thoughts._

 _Rhododendron, Danger._

 _Anemone, Fading Hope._

 _Yellow Carnation, Disappointment, Rejection._

 _Purple Hyacinth, Sorrow, Regret._

 _Yellow Rose, Decrease of Love._

Evan stared at the screen for a solid minute, trying to comprehend his soulmate's supposed personality. _This can't be right… can it?_ Scrolling back up and down, he tried to reload the page, something was wrong, this can't possibly be his soulmate, how could he possibly be paired up with- with Connor Murphy! _This can't be right, maybe I made eye contact with someone next to him, or behind him, I can't surely there has to be something good about him, I don't- I can't-_

A slight knock on the door scared the blond out of his wits, terrified of who would find him here, a teacher, the principle, _Jared._

Trembling, Evan couldn't move, couldn't hide as the door was cracked open, opened by none other than Connor Murphy himself.

 **A/N: rip okay um hello nerds what up it's me. So uhhhhh... I'm procrastinating from my Science homework right now, the atomic theory can suck it. Anyway, what do you guys want to see more of in this fic, or want to see in the future? I have a basic plotline but if y'all wanna suggest some things that'd be pretty lit.**


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